Leading vs. Bossing

Are you a leader, or a boss? While most people in management roles these days will identify themselves as a leader, how much of that identity is true, and how much has been cultivated by the persona we are expected to embody? Let’s start with a baseline definition of a boss and a leader.

boss

a person who is in charge of a worker, group, or organization.

leader

the person who leads or commands a group, organization, or country.

By definition, at the fundamental core level of differences, a boss is in charge of a group, while a leader leads a group. What are some other identifiable differences between a boss and a leader? Let’s look at a few high-level examples to further compare these two roles.

Professional Development

• Boss: Favors themself as the expert on every topic, causing close-mindedness.

• Leader: Receptive to new ideas and perspectives from others.

Communication

• Boss: Only communicates downwards, thereby losing touch with their team.

• Leader: Sets clear expectations while considering the needs and feedback of their team.

Coaching

• Boss: Destructively finds faults in their team, without providing goals for improvement. Feedback is unconstructive and discouraging.

• Leader: Identifies employees’ strengths and helps guide their growth. Motivates their team to put their best foot forward.

Management Style

• Boss: Micromanages, leaving very little room for autonomy. Will blame others instead of accepting responsibility for the wins or losses of their team. Demands results without offering support or resources.

• Leader: Empowers and guides team members to help find solutions. Takes accountability for the wins or losses of their team, and grows from the lessons learned. Inspires results by setting a strong example and providing guidance when challenges arise.

As a leader, you are responsible for the success and/or failure of your team. While your team’s parameters to succeed or fail are designated by your business’ high-level company goals, the buck stops with you. But how can we, as leaders, get the investment of our team members for pre-designated goals that they were not a part of establishing?

George Bradt, Senior Contributor to Forbes, summarized, “In leading through adversity: 1) Honestly and objectively assess the current situation - the good, the bad, and the ugly. 2) Choose your path forward, focusing on what you can influence and impact and letting go of what you cannot change. 3) Inspire and enable others to commit to actions knowing that they (and their work) matters and with confidence in their own abilities to be part of the solution.”¹.

Perhaps the greatest tool to inspire others in a leader’s toolbox is to lead by example. The most noble and revered leaders of our time are all documented to have led a group of people through a turbulent period of time, in the face of unprecedented adversity. Martin Luther King Jr., Mahatma Gandhi, Winston Churchill, Mother Teresa, Asoka, Alexander the Great - all of these timeless leaders, and so many more, immortalized their leadership in our history books. From civil rights movements, to world wars, to world peace, these leaders inspired change by setting the example of that which they fought to overcome. They led by example. 

Human beings are faced with unthinkable challenges everyday. The firefighters that run into a burning building while everyone else is running away from it. The soldiers that risk their lives protecting our nation’s freedoms. The nurses on the front lines everyday taking care of everyone at the risk of their own health and safety. We are capable of overcoming amazing feats, and pushing ourselves to extraordinary heights. But, without strong leadership, the team, the battalion, the unit…they all fall apart. 

In order to secure your team’s investment into the greater good of your business, they have to recognize and acknowledge your investment in them. If you introduce a performance metric to your team, they need to know that it is an attainable goal. In order for you to secure their investment, you must empower them through leading by example, and reaching (or better yet, exceeding) that metric. If you were told that your team has to work overtime for the next two weeks to prepare for a major launch, they need to know that they’re not getting the short end of the stick. That means that you must lead by example, and work overtime with them.

Leading by example is only one of the many aspects of embodying leadership. Let us not forget who we are doing all of this for; our team members. They are the beneficiaries, as much as the victims, of your leadership. Whether you build champions or victims is completely up to you. Remember, the buck stops with you. You have your team’s performance in your hands. So how can we cultivate champions? We set them up for success by providing them with coaching (FTW!), and ensuring that we have our aces in their places.

Employee coaching is an important part of continuous performance management. Coaching should be frequent, in real time, and poignant. Team members crave constructive feedback from their leaders, but don’t always get it, or don’t get it in a timely manner. Your team wants to know how their performance is viewed, what they’re doing well, and what they need to improve. While many companies utilize annual performance reviews to address these opportunities, it is far too little and far too late. Again, effective coaching should be frequent, in real time, and poignant. 

Coaching can consist of providing performance feedback, but can also be motivational, empowering, and conversational. Think of your little league coach, and how they interacted with you and your team. Sometimes the interactions were performance feedback, like correcting your batting stance, or showing you the proper technique for a slide-tackle. Sometimes it was more motivational, like giving that epic playoff game locker room speech, or recognizing the hard work the team put in over the season. Other times they wanted to empower you, like when your team was behind in the big game and they told the team that they believed you could come back to win it all, or when the team needed a captain to step up and they emboldened you to take charge. Coaching comes in many different forms, but is all rooted in the same pot; supporting your team. 

A team is only as strong as its leader, but a leader is nothing without their team. As a member of your leadership team, you are nothing without your team members. Don’t let an opportunity to coach one of your team members fall by the wayside. Even if you can’t coach in real time, make a note of your feedback, and follow through in your next one-on-one with that team member. 

The more effective coaching your team receives, the more set up for success they will become. By cultivating this culture of feedback, conversation, and active listening, you are building champions. Coupled with the foundation of expectations you consistently provide, you will end up with your aces (your champions) in their places (foundation of expectations). Everyone will be in the right role for their skills, will have consistent access to expectations and coaching, and will provide consistent results.

Learning how to embody leadership is a lifelong process, and one that must be cultivated and nurtured through knowledge, experience, and empathy. To get you started on today’s growth opportunities, I encourage you to analyze how you stack up against the leading vs. bossing examples provided at the beginning of this article, and document your findings. Then, take those same examples and ask your team(s) for feedback on how they feel you stack up, and document their responses (which can be anonymously provided to ensure integrity of the responses). Finally, take the two sets of responses, and cross-compare each one. Take note of what you consider to be your short-comings vs. what your team(s) feel. Do the same for your strengths. How do you see your leadership skills? How does your team view your leadership skills? Really sit with the results, and then create a plan of action to improve and refine your leadership skills, style, approach, and embodiment. 

When you’re ready to take the next step, we’re here for you.

Endnote:

1. George Bradt, “Three Essentials in Leading through Adversity - Especially in a New Role,” 

Forbes, November 8, 2020, https://www.forbes.com/sites/georgebradt/2020/11/10/the-three-key-steps-to-leading-through-adversity/?sh=7d9943c236ea.